Friday, December 29, 2006

Franklin The Cat Says "See Miss Potter. Feed me."

Today's guest blogger is Franklin The Cat:

Burbank, California

Now that I have completed the third of my five daily meals, please let me address a topic of some importance to my graceful feline comfort and your simple human amusement. As some of you know, I am a cat of exquisite breeding and social refinement, the most sought after home companion in Hollywood, cuddlier than Tinkerbell, classier than Bit Bit.

I spent the prime of my life gracing the American Society of Cinematographers, being rubbed and petted by a dozen people a day. Oh what joy! Then I lived for several years with the Tall Guy, who is currently wandering a continent called Asia where the locals sometimes do simply dreadful things to kitty cats. Now I live with the Pretty Lady and her husband, the Man Who Looks Young But Has White Hair, and there's even a kitten here for me to tell the secrets of felinity.

The Pretty Lady keeps me in Friskees and Pounce by making movies, nay, producing cinamatic extravaganzas that transport you to another place and time. One even had to do with lions! Roar!

The Pretty Lady's new movie is called Miss Potter and, although it doesn't have big African cats, it has animated birds and rodents and other things we kitties love to chase around the yard and claw and bite and decapita-. Pardon. Let me compose myself.

Beatrix Potter wrote children's books about animals but also had a fascinating personal life, or as fascinating as a human life can be. In the advertising for the movie, Beatrix Potter is also called Renee Zellweger, who I thought was married to the American Man With the Smile, but then she dated the British Man With The Frown, and now she's single. She wants to marry the song and dancy man who sometimes has a light saber, but her parents – quite right in my opinion -- think he's too common . . . . although it does remind me of the incident when I was positively driven to mate with that lubricious street scrumpet Mrs. Whiskers. But I digress.

Miss Potter opens tomorrow, December 29, in a small number of cities and then opens in more theatres on January 5 and even more on January 12. I believe it’s called a platform release and has something to do with a curious primate notion called “word of mouth.” Mouths are for eating and meowing, dear creatures.

In any event, the more of you who see Miss Potter, this gem, nay, this masterwork of the cinematograph, the happier the Pretty Lady will be and the more she will rub my tummy. Purrrrrrr!

So please, see Miss Potter as soon as it arrives at your town, why, see it the very first weekend (I hear that’s of some import.), and feast your eyes on its splendors. Now, if you will excuse me, I devote no less than 20 hours a day to refreshing my constitution by lying quite still on a soft surface and pondering the mysteries of catkind.

Until next time: Mew. And see Miss Potter.



Blogger Dave Williams said...

Awwww, Frankie, you sleep at least 23 hours a day... don't fudge it. And I'm sure you're waiting with baited breath (fish-smelling, of course) to introduce your new live-in girlfriend Stella to the Tall Guy... if he should ever return.

3:05 AM  
Anonymous Corey Sienega said...

So nice of Frank to do something more useful than shedding on our bedspread. Ever thankful for your previous Tall roommate for manipulating us to take you in Frank!

Should you hear from him while using my computer when I am not looking (and yes, I have noticed the fur on the keyboard), please do give the Tall Guy our best and tell him to come visit upon his future return.

And I always suspected you had good tast in movies, Franklin! Love, the Lady who feeds you

9:45 AM  

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